Archives for posts with tag: life

By now, the majority of high schools and colleges have had their commencement ceremonies. I have some very close friends who have graduated from college this year and I am excited to hear about their future endeavors and successes. I look up to them, and instead of preparing me for college like they did, they can now tell me about adventures in the “real world.” Just the same, I have very close friends who have just graduated from high school. I’m so proud of the people they are becoming and also can’t wait to see them progress. Though they are younger, I admire them and look up to each of them, but now I’m the one giving advice and helping them to succeed. It’s my turn. So here are some things that my first two years of university have taught me:

  • Money Management: While I came from money troubles prior to college, I have learned a lot more about managing funds and budgeting. My parents rarely gave me any financial help, and I didn’t have a job. Luckily, I receive refund checks from the university in the form of financial aid. Typically, I only bought the things necessary to living—groceries and toiletries, school supplies and requirements, rent and bills. However, there were days I wanted to eat at a restaurant, splurge on a makeup palette, beer that wasn’t Natural Light or a nicer bottle of wine, or something else unnecessary, of course. I learned quickly that making unnecessary purchases meant I had to compromise something that was necessary. So if I wanted to make a silly purchase, maybe I won’t eat as well for a week. You have to learn to compromise between needs and wants with the money situations in college. Even if you’re parents do help you, college is a great time to learn this skill.
  • Work hard, work hard to remember to play: I have always been the kind of person to put work before play, and I probably will always be that way. However, I’ve learned that in college, you can’t stress yourself out too much; you’ll go crazy, and you’ll cry yourself to sleep a lot. I’m not saying to blow off work and party all of the time, but if the homework can be done tomorrow and you haven’t left your apartment in three days, go out. Learn what works for you—how long you can actually procrastinate and get a good grade, your learning styles, how long it takes you to a write a paper, etc.—learn your parameters, and work around them. But please get your work done and well.
  • They lied in high school, college professors do care about you and your successes: I’m sure everyone had teachers in every major grade give the, “Your teachers in [insert grade here] won’t accept late work. They won’t care if you get good grades.” And that has always held wrong. College is the same way. However, most teachers don’t accept late work; they are stricter in that respect. But the majority of your college professors are there if you need them. You have to make the effort to ask question, utilize office hours, and contact them with problems. If you take the initiative to get help, they won’t deny you that help. And, even in the largest of schools (I go to a state university, so it’s pretty large), if you get to know your professors, they will learn to know you as well. Utilize your professors, because they are there for you to learn. They are there to teach you. And they really do want you to do well.
  • Get involved: It took me a year at university to learn just how important getting involved around campus is. Joining things you’re interested in brings enjoyment, leisure, and fun and new experiences. You meet people you may have not met otherwise. You gain connections—if you join a club relevant to…say…what you want to do as a career, I guarantee someone will know someone who will know someone. I will say this, though: don’t get too involved. Don’t overdo yourself. But definitely find a club or two to get involved in. You won’t regret it.
  • Friends aren’t always friends but plenty are to be made: When you move away to school, you will find that someone of your “friends” aren’t the greatest. Losing touch with them will make you feel lousy, but I promise you will meet new people. But don’t be discouraged if you and your friends part ways and go to different schools; if they are true friends, it won’t matter where you are. You’ll call each other and talk like you’ve spent no time apart.
  • The importance [and luxury] of “Me Time:” Being thrown into tiny dorm room or apartment doesn’t warrant a lot of solitude. Add course work, classes, clubs, and other activities into the mix, you’re going to be busy in college. Find time for yourself. Find time to take a minute to yourself, because you won’t get a plethora of chances to so. Find a spot where you like to read in peace. Take a day on the weekend to lounge around and watch movies or go shopping. If your roommate goes home for the weekend, embrace it. Everyone needs some time to themselves, and the first years of college makes that difficult. I learned to really appreciate my walks to class. No one really bothered me; just pop in some earphones and be on your way.
  • People are actually really rude. Stay calm: Don’t expect everyone to hold doors open. Don’t expect people to hold the elevator for you. Don’t expect, “Good morning,” “thank you,” or “please.” Don’t expect people not to talk loudly on the phone on the public transportation. Not everyone is terrible, obviously. And these gestures aren’t always absent. But when they are, and they will be frequently, bite your tongue.

And finally, the most important things I’ve learned at university thus far:

  • Putting yourself first sometimes is okay: I’ve always been one to take on tasks in attempts to help someone out. I have a really hard time telling people no. But as I said previously, you’re going to be busy in college. If you have work to do of your own, you may have to say no to some people. If you are super stressed and would rather be on Tumblr all day than help a friend with a project, it is okay to say you can’t. I had to go to the lengths of seeing a therapist. Don’t let your health or your grades dwindle because you think you have to do other things. If you’re sick, miss class once. You have to remember to take care of yourself. Really.


Future college freshman, have fun and good luck. 




When I was nine, all I wanted to do with my life was be a princess, wear elaborate dresses, meet Prince Charming, play all of the time, and be generally as happy as the people I saw in the Disney Masterpiece Collection classics I watched until the VHS tape got ruined.

I’m twenty now.

Being a princess would be too much work. I’m American, and while I would love to fall for England’s royal family’s youngest, I couldn’t do the princess thing. I like to do things myself, and I don’t want a cathedral train on my wedding dress.

Real life forces you to keep a cleanly household (I guess it doesn’t require it, but I’m not the kind to willingly live in filth, so I would be required). You can’t clean the house in a hoop skirt and corset. And if you can, I’m bowing down to you.

You can’t play all of the time, though some people at my university would beg to differ. You have to work hard to earn money; you need money to live adequately. And once you start living real life, playing starts to mean taking a bath without someone bothering you.

Prince Charming can be perfect, I suppose, though I can’t contest at this time. Or, Prince Charming can turn out to be a crook or a cheat or a liar or mistake. Prince Charming can make you laugh, but there’s always going to be another wannabe princess—one with blonde hair and bigger boobs, a higher IQ and a cleaner, more politically correct sense of humor. Real life teaches a girl she can’t sit and wait for Prince Charming to find her shoe while rushing away from a party; he’s probably the reason you’re leaving the establishment in such a hurry. You can’t sit and wait for Prince Charming to hear you singing in the woods with the birds and the deer, decide he is madly in love with you, and live happily ever after. If that were the case, we wouldn’t have Eharmony.

Happiness isn’t as simple as Disney made it appear to be. It can be. Finding happiness can be one of the easiest tasks in the world, and for me, it generally is. I can find happy things to do. But actual and genuine happiness isn’t always so simple. I’m jealous of the happy people, who can be happy without trying. Some people’s happiness comes from family, a lover, lunch with girlfriends, working. Or happiness can require taking a Prozac every morning. Childhood happiness is perfect; adult happiness isn’t always.

And VCRs are painstaking to find now, so all of those Disney Masterpiece Collection classics on VHS are pointless unless you repurchase them all on DVD/Blue Ray.

Adult life doesn’t have quite as much magical bliss as childhood does.

I wish I was nine again.

Peter Pan had it right; growing up is lame.


Hello Strangers.

It’s been a while. I’ve been very stressed and very distracted. Please excuse the rambling nature of this as well; it’s late, and I’m flustered. But it mostly is because I haven’t had a thing to write about…until today.
I was watching Sex and the City when a quote really stuck out to me: “Can you get to a future if your past is present?”

Now, I have related myself to Carrie Bradshaw since I first watched this show during year nine. But I don’t think I’ve really ever related more to her than in the moment I realized how relevant that quote is to me today (literally, today, as in 20 May). 

The ice queen (me) has recently fallen for a boy. Kind of. I’ve fallen for the idea. The first time I’ve fallen for an idea in three years. There is a kicker though. He is friends, best friends, with my ex boyfriend. Apparently a fictitious “man code” makes hooking up acceptable but being more than friends not acceptable. Heartbreak. But the reason this couldn’t progress, I was told, is because Guy doesn’t want to “risk losing a friend.” 

The relationship with my ex wasn’t a pretty one. And it ended years ago. He now has a new girlfriend; and they seem happy. I pity her a little, but good for them. I even brought myself to forgive him for all of the shitty things he did to me in the past, in case things with Guy did progress and I’d have to see him in social situations. All for nothing. (Well, I wouldn’t say nothing. The brooding probably needed to stop anyway.)

So, “Can you get to a future if your past is present?” In this situation, no, you can’t. I can’t. My ex ruined high school for me, and now he is ignorantly ruining a situation he doesn’t even know about. 


I apologize for a lack of a point, a lesson, a catchy line.

But until next time,

I’ve been getting a little discouraged from a lack of interesting topics to post about here, but remembering the three resolutions I made for myself (in the previous post), I decided to not let myself fret too much. So sitting at home last night, drinking some tea, I decided to compile a list of facts about me–which very well may be the most cliche blog post of all time, but it calmed my worry. 

  1. I thoroughly enjoy children’s literature. There’s something so calming about reading a book without complex themes. Sometimes good prevailing over evil is a very enlightening story to read. Not to mention, the illustrations, clever names, and opportunity to share insights with my beautiful 7 and 4 year old cousins are an added bonus. Adult novels are great, and I obviously read them frequently. But I do love to sit down and be able to read new children literature as well as my classic favorites such as “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” “The Secret Garden,” “The Chronicles of Narnia,” and “Harry Potter.”
  2. I am an obsessive note-taker. I will take notes while watching TV or reading casually. I can’t explain why. But I feel like it’d be considered a positive trait over a negative trait, even if it’s a little weird.
  3. I honestly enjoy going to class, researching, and talking for the purpose of learning. There’s so much out there to know. I want to find out as much as possible. There are so many fascinating things to be learned.  Learning is fun!
  4. Cleaning and baking calm me, so I do them both frequently.
  5. I can’t leave the house without putting lipstick on. Red is my go-to.
  6. George Clooney is my ultimate guy crush.
  7. There is nothing like escaping in a good book when you’re feeling stressed. And I must read before bed, only if I’m in my own bed.
  8. I’m a candle lover. The Yankee store is like Heaven.
  9. I highly enjoy crossing tasks off of my to do list. I get a kind of thrill from it.
  10. I am guilty of frequently giving myself pep talks in the bathroom mirror if I’m in need. There’s nothing like talking yourself through a problem to make yourself feel better. Sometimes simply talking it out can uplift me.
  11. I don’t like dancing. I get no enjoyment from it, and I don’t find it fun.
  12. I’m a fashion merchandising student at West Virginia University. My dream is to work for Pantone doing color forecasting.
  13. I am obsessed with weddings. I love weddings and how happy people are at their weddings. It’s a special of happy. My Tumblr is full of photos of wedding inspiration. However, I have never been so single in my life.
  14. If I’m outside, I’m in sunglasses, usually oversized.
  15. I am waiting impatiently for the day when I can purchase my first pair of Louboutins. (Shoes, for those of you who are unaware of the glory)
  16. I oftentimes say I was born in the wrong century, in the wrong country. I find myself to behave very European for an American. I also find myself to be the only person who wouldn’t mind bringing bustles and corsets back for a while. It just seems so elegant.
  17. My regular morning routine consists of drinking at least four cups of black coffee, making my daily to do list, and checking my e-mail and various social media feeds.
  18. Speaking of lists, I make them like a mad person. I have lists for everything. Sometimes, I even find myself making lists of my lists. The other day, I added “Make grocery list” to my to do list!
  19. I write lyrics. Now, where I’m from, no one thinks you’re talented unless you play sports, sing, or can play an instrument. I fall into the “None of the above” category. But I write. And I enjoy writing. And I’m fairly good. But no one takes notice. But that doesn’t stop me. So, if you are a good soul who’s interested: is where you can find what are mostly teenage love songs.
  20. I consider myself to be a very reverent agnostic in terms of religion. I’ve gone through phases with Christianity, and by no means, do I discredit any religion. I enjoy reading and learning about all forms of spirituality but don’t identify myself with a specific form. I appreciate different aspects of various religions and have meshed them all into a way of thinking.
  21. Makeup is one of my few passionate interests. I love watching makeup tutorials on YouTube: icallitambrosia, NikkiTutorials, Pixwoo, Pixi2woo, and Abb3rz07 are a few of my favorites. I also enjoy playing around with makeup and trying new products. Being in college, girls constantly are asking me to do their makeup for weekends out or other events around campus. I never turn them down.
  22. Orchids are my favorite flower.
  23. I have a very hard time being productive in rooms I don’t find aesthetically pleasing. And I’m a firm believer in color psychology.
  24. I’m still trying to figure out who “Jacqie” is.
  25. I’m okay. But I’m not happy. I’m trying to be happy.  


I figured this would be a good place and a good post. And I figured this would give you all a chance to get to know a little about me. 


Until next time,


Don’t be fooled, now. This isn’t the beginning of an epic memoir about finding myself. 

To put it simply, I have been down in the dumps, in a slump. I think it’s what they call “the winter blues.” I just haven’t felt myself, happy, or right. Honestly, I don’t feel like my life is going in any direction I imagined going. This irks me. So in attempts to fix (or begin to fix) the situation, I’ve decided to start this blog. 

Last semester (I am a sophomore in college currently), I got the notion to start a blog in which I post a daily realization for a year in attempt to be a little happier. It lasted for about 70 days, and I became frustrated when nothing interesting was happening for me to post about. I wasn’t having quotable realizations. I was realizing I am broke, boring, and tired. So this time, I’ve made this my primary goal: post. Not once a day, not once a week, or not once a month…just post

My second goal this time around is to not expect a masterpiece every time I do post. I need to post what I feel like I need to post. It can be rambling; it can be complaining; it can be insightful. It just has to be something I cared enough about to post about. I’m not forcing myself to look for something to write about every single day; if it’s notable, I’ll know. 

And my third goal for this new project is to be Jacqie. While I’m not entirely sure what that is at this very moment, I know what it’s not. I’m not going to cloak myself as some Socrates level philosopher in my posts. That’s not me. Sometimes I do have words of wisdom, but they usually are in modern language, not perfectly sculpted sentences worthy of books and awards. So I’m just going to be Jacqie: sarcastic, witty, 19, ignorant, wise, passionate, and imperfect.